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BARBARA PHELPS GRIFFITH, was born in Lexington, Kentucky, 21 March 1942, and died near London, England, 10 December 2022. She is survived by one daughter, Dana Robbins and her partner, Richard Eliot, Middlesex, England and twin grand-daughters, Lana and Aimee Eliot age 12, and by a brother, William Phelps and his wife, Kathy, of Napa, California, a niece, Deanna Christensen of Ventura, California, a nephew Steven Phelps of Napa, California and her husband and partner of forty years, Scott Griffith of Usclats le Bas, France.
Barbara and Dana moved abroad in the late 1960s where she taught at the American School in Brussels, then to Edinburgh in the 1970s where she (an English major!) taught mathematics to men at Saughton, the Edinburgh prison. She met Scott Griffith in 1982 in Edinburgh, then took early retirement to move to join him in Usclats le Bas, France in December, 1993. They married in November 1998.
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In their happy and busy retirement years, Scott and Barbara worked on their 500 year old house and the garden, joined local associations, and traveled to Scotland, to Spain, to Prague, to Germany, elsewhere in France, to Sicily and back to the US a few times: California, Florida, New England. Many others traveled to visit them: family, former pupils and old friends, including a number of us from the class of 1963. We were treated to Barbara's wonderful French meals and many, many trips around the French countryside with our excellent guides, Scott and Barbara.
Barbara died as a result of bronchopneumonia with oropharyngeal dysphagia, and dementia. The latter had been developing for some time - she was not able to drive, remember names and depended on help with correspondence and communication. Barbara's daughter, Dana, accompanied Scott and Barbara to French neurologists who spoke of Alzheimers. Dana then took Barbara to London to consult with English speaking doctors. She remained there with her daughter and her adored and adoring granddaughters for a year and a half. Although many of her class of 63 friends were far from her, Scott kept us informed about her health and condition as much as possible.
Scott wrote this in remembrance of Barbara: "What's been nearly unbearably touching now that Barbara's gone has been the immediate reactions of local (French) friends and neighbors, and shopkeepers to the news of her death. Without exception they react with surprise and with regret, and then go on to speak with real emotion of how very sweet she was, how open, how genuine, how kind and how lovely they found her. That's not a bad way to be remembered."
She was a dear friend to all of us from Mount Holyoke who stayed close and traveled far to see her during the 60 years since graduation.
This obituary was written by Scott Griffith with Linda Ocker (Mashburn) and Lis Ingram (Brown).
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Sally Nunneley
Remembrance by Mary Ann Searles Weiss:
Barbara was a part of our group of five that “moved together” our last years at Holyoke. She had a delightful different drummer that we all appreciated. To immerse herself in the aura of her major, the 19th Century Britain, she hung red velvet drapes in her dorm room and painted her old wicker rocking chair with gold paint and placed it by her window. Even though she had limited means, she always managed to make things happen like a ski trip or fancy dance dress.
Soon after graduation she came to our wedding in Indiana. She moved to New York and a few weeks after we too arrived in NYC, she married her first husband at Trinity Church Wall Street; the reception was at our sparsely furnished apartment and our neighborhood butcher guided me through cooking and carving a turkey upon which we all feasted. It was great fun. We are Godparents to her daughter Dana Lynne Robbins. Later she, Pete and Dana Lynne moved to eastern Massachusetts and we did too. When they split up, Barb and Dana Lynne lived with us briefly in Worcester. She and Dana Lynne then went off to Brussels where she was to teach at an international school.
The next time we saw her, she had remarried and was teaching in a prison in Edinburgh. The last time we saw her she was living in the Langueduc region of France in a lovely old stone farmhouse with her third husband. Barbara was always adventurous and resourceful as well as kind and generous. Ted and I are very sad to hear of her death.
Linda Ocker (Mashburn)
I met Barbara our freshman year when we were both living in Pearson. On the evening we met, we were in the same car attending an off-campus event with the Dean of the College Chapel, and on the way home got into such an intense discussion that we forgot to sign in when returning to Pearson. AT 2 am, Barb and I were finally discovered in a small library on the ground floor, still heavily exchanging ideas--the campus search parties could finally be called off. We remained close friends for our three years on campus together before I left for nurse's training in Hartford, and then I visited Barb everywhere she lived except for the one or two years she was in Brussels.
Barb wasn't a particularly good correspondent. One might get a 5-6 page letter every couple of years, but if one wrote and said a visit to her was possible, a letter would come back by return mail, laying out a warm invitation and asking for details of the travel plans. She was a great hostess, and one always felt like no time had elapsed since the previous visit. Scott was also a very welcoming host during their years together, and the hospitality extended beyond me to my children, entertaining my younger daughter and later her fiance on solo European trips. I doubt that any of their visitors to Usclats le Bas will ever forget the three hour midday dinners of multiple courses, good wine, and great conversation with which they were entertained.
I think what drew people to Barb and certainly me was the honesty of her dealings with everyone. There was never any subterfuge. When she was enjoying a conversation with you, her whole face lit up, and she certainly had one of the most lovely smiles of anyone I have known.
Linda Mashburn (Ocker)
Sally Nunneley
Comment by Susan Thornley:
Barb and I laughed a lot, talked a lot, and lost touch for years at a time. It's painful to know we won't be enjoying each other again. Even when Barbie visited in August 2022, brought by her daughter, accompanied by the twins, she continued to recognize me and Dana and the girls, despite no longer being oriented to time and place, unable to express her thoughts because the words wouldn't emerge. She was surrounded by uncritical love and care.